Manifesto

She left.........

Thought I had crumbled...and there was nothing left.....

Came to that fork in the road... Didn't know whether to go right or left.....

Felt like turning my back...on the very kids I loved to the ends of the earth...

I was a man that had given so much of myself.... I started to question my worth....

I allowed her unhappiness to define me....

Not realizing the discontent was a problem in she....

Financial struggle....

Dictated the flow...causing constant trouble....

Yet the kids were taken care of....

Shown the utmost example of love....

Daddy day care......

I dare ....

Toot my own horn......

But taking care of these kids made me....

Gave me.......

So much pride......

I was the Lion..... King of the jungle.....taking care of my pride....

Completed me....

See....

I taught myself to cook....

Like this poetry thing... I could pen my own cookbook.....

Filled with meals I prepared with love....
Blessed with talent from the Father above...

Did this because... If I couldn't provide all the duckets.....

Fuck it....

I might as well take care of home from the inside....

Wasn't appreciated.... So inside

It made me bitter.... I figure when your chick starts to lose respect...

In the man she is with.... What do you expect?

I was doing all I knew...

To keep us together... Shit I became the glue...

I was doing doctor visits....
Whatever it is...

To keep shit afloat.....

Oh well..... I wasn't enough....

I knew we had it rough....

But its done....

But now I'm finding out who I am.....

Damn.....

I'm a good man.....

Strong father.....man with morals.... Yes that's who the fuck I am!!!!!

I've laced these verses...

With not so subtle curse....

Yes I spit it with fire.......

To bash her...or degrade her...is not my desire...

Just that since she left...

I didn't think I had the strength..... Didn't think I had any fight left....

At my weakest I'm stronger than I thought....

All the inner demons I've fought...

I will them soon.....

Can't turn off being their father....

Knowing how it would bother

Me......

God forgive me....

Of the slightest thought of giving up....

All I can say now.... is Thank You....for the opportunity to man up.....

This is my Manifesto
Conscript1

Pray for me.......Please

I cry incessantly
Inner turmoil just messing with me....
A shell of my former self....
My laugh muffled by my cries for help....
So called friends gone...family...there's nothing left...
No more friendships....
Kinships....
Separate from one... And things just end quick.....
Chest beating extra hard.......inhale.......
Tears streaming...............exhale............
I'm losing it......just like I lost my job....
I'm like why God?
I've lost my will my focus...
And everyone around me is starting to notice.....
Barely eat.....
I have no appetite....
Hardly any sleep at night.....
My sugar so outta whack....
In fact....
Been having those chest pains lately....
Hope its not my heart.....
Feel like I'm falling apart....
Being that no one comes around to see me....I keep them at bay....
Tell everyone I'm ok
Just so I don't have to hear them
say
That one day....
One day....
Someday......
I want to yell.....what about today!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never wanted things to be this way.....
I was consistently
Weaving my way thru life's inconsistencies....
Knowing that my love..dedication and hard work would pay off eventually....
I'm left alone......my spirit.....on empty......
.Spiraling out of control....I wish the devil would come get me..
Never been one to indulge... In drugs and alcohol....
But damn it seems so tempting......
Wanna drink till numb.....
Pop pills...snort coke...whatever till I'm dumb
High...
Figure this will be the only way I can
Get by....
This disconnect in my pain....
Ease the pain....
Until then......why don't somebody pray for me?
Conscript1

Switching Gears

Out of sight....
Out of mind.....
Out of time.....
Life spinning counterclockwise.....
Listening to words from the wise.....
A reality I soon despise...
Give it time......
Tick....tock......
Seconds ticking off that clock.
Driving down that highway.....
As if I'm switching gears..
Between...remorse....pain....bitterness....and my deepest fears....
Now I'm made to look like a fricking deadbeat.....
Crushes my soul like a brutal defeat...
Can't even hold my head high.....
Pain so grave....sometimes I wish I'd die.....
Kick those foolish thoughts to the side...
Swallow that ugly pride.........
Find myself coasting on memory lane....
Way before the pain......
Better ways...
Better days....
Loved you so deeply.....
Ain't gonna lie.......still do...deeply
Steady weeping.....
Wake up in tears while sleeping...
Can't comprehend it.....
This is how you want to end it?
Screw me and what I'm feeling...
They say time leads to healing
Of all wounds.......so I lift my eyes to the ceiling....
I pray....I pray....oh how I pray...........
Each and every day....
That He put my mind at ease....
That these
Crazy thoughts
How I've fought
So long...so hard...secrets I've kept for so long....
Grudges against those I felt did me wrong....
A lot won't overstand what I'm saying...
With matters of the heart...trust me I'm not playing...
I gotta cleanse my soul.....#imjustsaying

Conscript1

Open

Tears and pain...
Seems its all the same...
I'm not writing sweet instances of something beautiful.....
I'm writing deep twisted truths...
So sick of folks reading these lines..
And time after time
They just like it
Just look at the imagery...
And not my hearts symmetry
What's happening right now in my life is fucking killing me...
I'm trying to maintain....
Looking to God and his guidance to ease the pain
Walking from the train...
The sky opens up and it starts to rain.....
Tears just flow......all I can do to keep sane....
Soaking wet from my head to my socks...
Pain is transforming....I'm past the shock....
Scared I'll return to my ill tempered mannerisms....
Having these headaches with horrible visions...
But damn I can only put so much on myself
Wasn't alone in this....I had help..
But here I am sitting on the outskirts of reality...
Fleeting so quickly is my sanity...
Not claiming innocence by any means...
But everything is not as it seems.....
So one sided in this....
Got my dudes telling me....forget that chick....
Females telling me....that's a bogus chick....
I fell in love with this lady...
Maybe
It wasn't meant to be....
A future with her wasn't for me to see...
Maybe the tug of war
On her heart was more
Than she was willing....
To deal....
How can I convey what I feel?
I was on the railroad tracks....
And right before the train came I stepped back
On the platform....
I jumped out of a moving car at rush hour...
Somebody told me I shouldn't relinquish my power...
Cause if she sees your weakness..best believe she will devour
You whole...
Every ounce of your soul...
Shit I'm stuck between being a tough ass...
And inside wishing my relationship was able to last..
I'm just hoping.......
So damn open....
Conscript1

Fear/Pain

Put it all on my shoulders....deemed it my fault
Man in the mirror
Full on facing my fear or
It takes 2 to tango
2 to dismantle
What we had
Shit its sad
Its no mystery
6 years of history
Spun down the drain
Causing so much pain
Look at our life now....
Can't even imagine how
It got this way...
Its fucked up...
My life is being held up...like a robbery....stuck up.....
Love flow....straight constipated
To a point in which I hate it...
Ill advised actions
Led to your reactions....
I admit
I was so far outta pocket....
I swear I didn't mean it.....
Fed up with me..
Eyes closed...so you don't see...
Its still me...
In my heart your always my baby....
My wonder woman....
I wonder woman....
Is this the end?
Is there anything left to mend?
All the coulda
Woulda
Shoulda
Impulses.....
Headaches....fast pulses.
Everyone saying you should just give her time..
I see it as out of sight out of mind....
But damn....if I push...she'll just pull away...
That's what the songs say....
My heart is aching...
Hope our love ain't breaking...
I can't make you love me...
Won't force you to .forgive me
Tryna play it cool and just let it be.....
A future without you.....I'm too scared to see...
Conscript1

Another Chance

There'd be the quick little footsteps...
Jumping in the bed....
Feet in my face instead....
My mini me shaking his dreads....
Upon eye contact the other most beautiful lil girl in the world...says good morning daddy....
Gladly I'd make my famous pancakes...
A box of Jiffy is all it takes
To have them jumping to the ceiling..
Man what a wonderful feeling....
I'm looking at the most gorgeous woman in the world...
In my head I'm thinking...Damn that's my girl....
Secretly I've always loved her voice...
Smooth and sweet...tickles me in a place so sweet...
Got a spark every time our lips would meet...
There's something so special...so different this family's vibe....
At any time....
Someone would say something that would evoke laughter...
Fast forward to now...I've caused my world to shatter...
I used to see them everyday...
In every way
What I wouldn't give just to hear them say...
Hi Daddy...
Or hear Nene ask Daddy how was your day?
Tre asking the same question over and over again...
And when I'd say no....he'd ask again....
Making those baked lemon pepper bbq wings...
Dinner for the family...those little things..
I used to take for granted....
Dammit!
This can't be right...
Not my life...
I did this to myself...
I'm praying to the Lord for help.....
I used to pride myself.....
In being a family man...
Had the family.... But I wasn't the best man...
That I know I can....
Be...
That's it honestly...
I am asking God for a second chance...
I'd do anything for my family.....
I just want them back....
That's a fact!
Conscript1

Fractured

Wish death upon you viciously....
Shit catch wind of our history...
Don't give a damn how you depict we...
Of course
You on your high horse...
No fucking remorse...
They say hindsight is 20/20....
Regret shit...I have them good and plenty...
Dem no cry for me...
I reinvented it
Remixed it
This anguish....
Some say how foolish...
Will I ever relinquish
This animosity.....
Fueled by a fiery hostility...
Towards fuckers that are so called family...
Like a bad hairline...seems I've recessed...
Regressed...
To being a lil kid just vexed
At my situation.....
Using my imagination
To fly...
Damn the reefer...I'm talking so high.....
I would be this person.....
That one.....
And then some....
Never lost in this maze...
Is this rage....
Even now in life I can't seem to turn the page...
And let go......
Off the top of my dome....
Sitting in a crowded Starbucks....yet I'm so alone....
A king with no throne...
Damn I wish I wasn't from such a shattered home.....
Conscript1

Spoken Word

Reverb
Unleash the beat real slow....haven't you heard
Scintillating words
Caress every nerve.....
Phonetic wizardry......
Like when the message is delivered...
Your soul shivers
Bless the givers
Of this awesome gift...
Tongue twist...
Thoughts shift..
Reality painted in various hues...
All expressing different views
Intellects on that intellectual
Rhymes splaying legs so sensual
Unloading raw emotions to make it even more special
Reaching that next level.....
Thoughts from the conscious minded
I find it
All forms of the spoken word..
Gives me that ultimate urge...
To try my hand at this awesome feat...
Not caring how I'm riding the beat.....
Just know that I'm gonna deliver that verbal heat.....
Conscript1

Beauty Personified

She's sexy...
Beyond sex appeal...
Her vibe is so real...
Love to be around her...its that electricity you feel...
Reels you in...
Imagining
Sweet kisses on lips..
Hands on hips...
Tender embrace...
As I look at her pretty face...
Whether she rocking something covered in lace...
Or sweats..whatever the case..
She beautiful in each and every way..
would remind her every day..
Baby, you making me blush..
Girl hush...
Everyday day is Valentine's
Pretty smile...eyes just shine...
We making love mentally
I'm so into her..she into me..
Willingly...
Ain't nothing forced
Of course...
So natural...
So beautiful....
Its all true....
And yes I'm talking bout u

Conscript1

Freestyle'd Thru Tears

We raise our kids in our image..
Going against Mom and Pops..some consider sacrilege...
Falsely giving the praise
For the way in which I was raised...
The humility that I possess
The ability to do so much with less
Shit I'm so confused
Ticking time bomb that needs to be defused
Called you at 8... Like an eager little child...
Had the troops all riled up to say Happy Fathers Day in style....
No answer...
Didn't make the best father
So I don't know why I'd bother
Thinking you'd be a worthwhile grandfather
Shit hurts
And what's worse
Is I've been cursed
With a mother devoid of emotion
Had a notion
She'd be proud of the man I've become
But your so numb..
When it comes to feelings..
Feel like I'm dealing
With a complete stranger...
Investing my heart in you is paramount to danger
I've taken this to task...
Am I a great father...you don't even have to ask...
All I ever wanted was love...
Love....love....love.....
Its supposed to be repetitive...
All I do is give...give...give....
I love my kids so hard...cuz they are the reason I live.....
How can I not harbor any ill will...
You causing these tears to spill....
This supposed to be my day...
Pain cuts so deep I don't know what to say.......
Just wish I didn't feel this way...
Conscript1

1-4-3

Want this feeling to last forever..
Till the twelfth of never..
Passionate kissing...
When you're not near me I'm missing
You...
Not afraid to admit how I love you..
Gentle enough to caress her heart
Yet strong enough to play my part...
Open doors that's locked..so chivalrous
Believe me it does exist..
I'm gonna love you in a manner you can't resist..
I insist
Take our time
Slow wind...
Show you that you're beyond special
Intrigue your mental..
By giving you conversation that level past intellectual
Have you saying...he's so refreshing..guess men aren't all the same..
Not with the usual player..tryna spit some recycled game...
Can look past my pain...
No need for fallacy
Won't hype you with improbable fantasy..
What I will give is the best of me..
Far from perfect see..
There's no telling what we could be...
Ain't gonna get anywhere with your heart in a cage...you gotta set it free...
1-4-3
L-O-V-E
So much provided by me
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Worth PT1

Call yourself a stand-up nigga..
How the hell you figure?
You sit down to aim...
How lame?
This dude gotta history
Of acting so insecurely
Swinging on females...
Man I'll spare you the details..
Haters gonna say I'm man bashing....
Shit ill answer questions to anyone who is asking....
Masking
Pain...she prolly is searching for daddy...
Someone who will love her...
Put none above her..
Had those situations...let's call him 'Uncle' Chester...
Would have their way and molest her...
Damaged goods...
Feels why would
Any regular dude
Be in the mood...
To deal with someone with her past...
How long will these thoughts last?
Often times
These characters cross lines...
Intermingle
This girl is no longer single...
He can't deal with her issues
So his words become tinged with verbal abuse
Another miscue
Her will has become weak
She no longer seeks..
Love...she just goes thru the motions..
Hoping..
This is enough...
Settling for a guy who just talks tough...
Round the edges are so rough...
He cheats...but takes care of home...
Accepts it because she can't handle to be alone.....
Doesn't stand up for herself....
Inside she's just dying for help...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Contradictions

Fact or fiction...
Sometimes we act like a fucking contradiction...
As if we still going thru segregation...
Sometimes it seems we can't even love ourselves...
What the hell...
Like Black pride was just talk...and its packed up nicely on the shelves...
Actions reminiscent of Twitter...
Y'all a bunch of followers....damn right I'm bitter..
I said I wanted to uplift people....I will cuz I'm not a quitter....
Got fools hell bent
Of living lives that's irrelevant
The grave they can't circumvent
Babies having babies...
And let's not talk bout these so called ladies...
Actions that be shady...
In fact they be the reasons niggas get to bleeding..
Being conniving and deceiving...
Then we have these fake ass prophets like Bishop Eddie Long
Perpin' singing that woe is me song...
Dirty dick worthless man...correct me if I'm wrong...
Why settle if you're innocent?
Damn where are our leaders?
That can turn the youth into believers?
We listen to their movies...quote their lyrics...
With their fame...what do they do with it?
Nothing...zip...zilch...
A fake I'm gonna give back pretense..
Please take offense....cuz there is no defense
For turning your back....
In fact
Excuses
Have been rendered useless..
Let's not be foolish...
You can only help those who are willing
To change...but I gotta feeling...
If they think their idols care...they might
Start to put up a fight...
Try to make things right.....
But then again.............
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

ReBirth of Slick

Tongue twist...
On that flip shit....
Get in her drawers quick....
Unprotected dip stick...
Kissing her dreams
Filling up her fragile esteem...
Seeing is believing...
Fucking up her sanities....
Hand always in her panties....
Outcast by her family...
Cuz they don't approve of a nigga like you...
Oh so true...
If her brothers actually knew
The damage you'd do..
Your life would be thru....


Judging niggas by the size of their dicks...
Dumb shit....
Unprotected dip stick....
As if
This nigga pipe you right...
You gonna be set for life...
How trife...
Worrying bout what this idiot has in his pockets..
Not concerned with the ways in which he got it....
You and the family not on speaking terms...
They tryna hip you to the game...but it seems you ain't willing to learn...


She lost herself nowhere to be found....
Merry go round...and round...
Spin cycle....
3rd month no menstrual cycle....
She brings news to him with such glee...
Blind sided when he blurts out.."Hell no shorty that ain't me"
This was straight pussy....
Get out your feelings, no need to get mushy...


See hun you got it twisted...
Point was dropped...obviously you missed it...
Regarded him as 'a good man' for too long...
Even though 2 wrongs
Don't make it right..
Child, you lost sight..
Of your worth....busting it open for Prada....
Look at you now...don't have nada
To show for it...
And you know it....


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Motivation

I believe imma have you climaxin'
Can't you tell by the way ur body reactin'
Motivation
Feel that tingling sensation
Creeping up your spine
Just wanna make you mine
The way you bite me
Just excites me
Damn face sittin...
We just gettin
Started
Favorite part it
So passionate....
Sweat....
Lust,,,
Anticipation....
Tongue tracing curves....
Parting lips....
Caressing your body with my fingertips....
Ripping off clothes...
Moans....
Of ecstasy
Whispering Honey do...
Anything and everything you wanna do...
Tongue in cheek...
So to speak....
As your body....leaks....
Intense feelings...
As our bodies hit the ceiling....
Two sets of hands..
I mean damn.....
Just motivating...
Appetites captivating
Us....
Combustible....no slowing down....
I wanna feel you bust..
Explode...
Go...go...go...go...
Motivation......
Bodies interlocked....
As if we are shocked
We took it there....
Don't think we're done...you're not going anywhere....

Doing Me

So sick of situations....
Shit, why do I have to be the one avoiding temptation?
Staying on the straight and narrow...
And all I have to show for it is anguish and sorrow....
Nothing to lend....nothing to borrow...
Constant stream of depression...
Apparently haven't already learned the lesson...
Steady stressin'
Second guessin'
So numb
Can anyone feel where I'm coming from?
Bright flame have I been extinguished?
For this life I've never wished...
I thought I was doing this life shit...
Writing shit...
The point...I guess yall missed it...
This poetry ish used to fill me up...now I'm empty so hollow
As if I'm at The Apollo..
Have no ides of what constant rejection will do to ya...
Save that amen and your bs hallelujah
Seems my humility
Has been mired foolishly...
Liked broadband no connectivity
My body of work collectively
Is trash!
So my subconscious consciously made a mad dash...
Used to be so concerned with living right...
Now I don't give a damn...whether wrong or right
Screw opinions....outta mind outta sight...
Finally now I see the light..
Can't produce perfection
But I can take this writing thing in any direction...
No blurred perception...
Having morals with be the death of me...
Don't flip flop...won't change positions see...
There's only one way I know how to be
Not what these fakes depict me to be

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Dancing Thoughts in My Head

The swivel of her hips...
As she dips....
Body is speaking to me....I'm listening
Smooth skin is glistening...
Her moves...
So smooth...
All I could do is stare....
Ask for a dance.....I don't dare...
Sensual moves...
Can tell she really feeling that groove...
I try to camouflage my interest
Anything that would suggest
That the rapid beating in my chest
Is how she breaks it down....
Down....
Down......
Thoughts running round....
Studying her curves...
Hit me with that certain urge...
The swivel of her hips...
As she dips...
Sexy lips....
Enticing eyes...
I visualize
Hands on mine...
Slow winding...
Grinding.....
Hands on thighs....
Straight mesmerized......
The swivel of her hips...
As she dips...
Breath taking kiss.....
They are playing her song....
Nothing can go wrong.....
The swivel of her hips...
As she dips...

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Tainted

Society lied...
Gives off this putrid vibe..
The bumpiest ride...
Seems its just the sign of the times...
Search deep for the right rhymes
Disgusted by how the darkness infiltrates my lines
Do you blame me?
For those who want to give it a name see....
Life ain't what it used to be
Instead of living life happy
We are forced to watch decay on the news...
Listen to the ignorant spew their vicious views
Brothers and sisters dying
Tears stained from crying
Over caskets
And we mask it
With thoughts of retaliation
Further goes the alienation
If our hoods were a 3rd world country..it would paramount to genocide
This is not why Martin died!
See society lied!
Gave off this putrid vibe
In my skin..there is pride
We may have fallen...but again we will rise!
Can't wait till the masses realize
We ain't going nowhere
So y'all better refund your fears
The image of us has been tainted
Let's rearrange it...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Pleasure Principal

Pleasure Principal


Simple...
Sweet seductive nature....
She takes her time
As she seductively infiltrates my mind
Use my imagination
She says she wants it deep...but no penetration....
That peaks my fascination...
Tells me to only use my lips.....
Tongue...and fingertips....

Pleasure Principal....
Just that simple...
Sweet kisses and caresses
Turns into sweet moans and yes's
Slowly I take her unmentionables off...
Skin so soft
Kissing her thighs......
That parts and reveals my prize....
Yet another kiss....
Kiss.....
Kiss...
With each one her body seems to fall deeper in bliss.....

Pleasure Principal
Just that simple...
Her body is so into it.....
As I gently roll her on her stomach...
More kisses trace her spine....
Then I flick my tongue on her clit from behind......

My...my....my...
Explosive....ultimate high....
Both floating on clouds in the sky...
Body tingling....
The way she throwing at me...
So rhythmic....
She can't handle it....
That's it.....
That's her spot...
She's so hot....

Pleasure Principal
So sweet and seductive......
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

In Spite of

In Spite of
I still remember how he would mistreat you
Get mad cuz supper wasn't hot enough...so he would beat you
Standing over you... After he physically defeated you
You made decision...
As a youngster I never depicted this vision...
In most cases it's the pops
Who skips out..and drops
Off the face of the earth....
What I wasn't worth....
It.....
I mean shit
what did I do?
After all you allowed him to name me his junior...couldn't even say the name....you called me #2
He stayed....
You parlayed.....
Ended in a makeshift foster home....
Told folks this was my granny's home...
While you out galavanting getting your life on.....
I'm lying to folks saying my Mom's dead....
Cuz in my head
That's the only way to deal.....
The scar won't ever heal...
Saw you twice in 7 years....
Greeted you with tears....
In turn you gave me a sibling....a chore...
Moved in with you..cuz u wanted your fam together.....Or
Was it to be a babysitter..
I still carry wounds...from when you caught me
Being mean to your precious 'baby'
This was Jerry Springer crazy....
19 years later.....
You act like nothing ever happened....
Ask me why I have distanced myself....
Why I don't call you for help
What's funny is........
in spite of....
All this...I wonder why I couldn't have my mother's love...

2011 is upon us

Shutter game........

Shutter game........
Aim.....
Click......
Lick
Them lips.....
Hands on hips....
Just for me....
Just for you....
Thinking of many ways to...
Entice us visually....
Mentally...
You so into me...
We so connected see....
A picture says a thousand words....
True indeed...they even convey thoughts on the verge...
Of spilling out....
Those sensual sensations....
A welcomed temptation.....
Shutter game....
Take aim....
Zoom in....
To that spot...where in....
I'm kissing
Touching....
No longer waiting.....
Cuz we been doing this digital foreplay
It seems all nite and day...
When I get home imma have it my way....
Shutter game...
Adjust the frame...
Come on....
We could do it with the lights on.........
Shutter game

2011 is upon us

No Union

Relegated to hearing shit thru the grapevine...
After all this life is mine....
Won't give yall the time
Of day...
Why? I know that's what yall gonna say...
Ok...
I will take the bait....
Clenched teeth....oh how I hate
This fate
I was dealt....thru no fault of my own...
Disgusted me to even speak to you flakes on the phone...
How's the kids?
Don't concern yourself with how I handle my bid....
yall considered me a life sentence..
As a child something that fucked up my comprehension....
Straight envious....
Of the next door neighbors...
Not knowing they giving me one of those unforgettable favors....
Summertime Chi...
4th of July...
I'm hanging with my...
New family...
Ultimate gamble see...
Mad cuz I'm avoiding calls...
Fuck yall...
Decrepit ass step mom holding my sperm donor by the balls...
Tryna play daddy
Mad he
Can't fool me
Like when I was younger...silly little man
Can
You really be that much of an imbecile
Don't answer that..don't give 2 shits how you feel!
Pestering bout some family reunion...
Add it up put 2 plus 2 and
Finally realize I aint fucking with yall like that no more..
After all....what 4?

2011 is upon us

Domestic 4

Guess the punk bitch couldn't hack it...
Cuz he left and panicked...
Doors wide open....
As she lay there choking
On her own vomit.....
She was found 2 days later....
That's how her tragic story ends...
Her mom tryna make amends..
Just to see the look in her eyes....
When you realize
That all you had has died...
Apart of you dies too...
Can anyone imagine the pain she's going thru....
this won't make the front pages...
A part to which sends me in a rage....
Somebody has to tell her story...
Who's gonna tell our young girls
They deserve the world...
That love ain't pain....
Ain't no dick game
Good enough to sit around
And let some clown
Put his hands on you....



Screw this.....can't rhyme no more....
I see this and it burns deeply...
This young girl just taken out cuz some fool couldn't control his punk ass temper!!! Fathers please love your daughters...please set the bar for them...so these weak ass niggas have to prove themselves or get the fuck on...........
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Domestic 3

See she was once a victim herself...
She knew the signs of needing help....
Kinda held herself accountable
For the insurmountable
Pain
Her daughter was going thru again and again...
In her situation she prayed that God would save her a similar man..
She said if being a family was not part of the plan...
She could understand....
Just wanted somewhere safe for her daughter and.......
Somehow.....some way....
She built up the strength for run away...
Never allowed any man to get close to her
For fear
She would be shedding those painful tears...
So she raised her only daughter....to be strong...
Intelligent....
And with common sense....
Don't let no one tell u what you can't do types...
I'm sure you've ran across one in your life...
Felt like she didn't do enough....
And that feeling in itself is so rough

Ultimate misfortune....
she was pregnant....he wanted no parts of it...demanded she have an abortion....
She wasn't for it...
Chose to ignore it...
Only 6 weeks in..
But she was slowly connectin'
With the feelin'
She would have her own family...
Hoping that he
Would see this thought would make her happy.....
But he didn't give a solitary fuck...
Just her luck...
Talking bout how she was tryna have him
stuck...
Out came that fist it struck....
Her across the face...
He chased her thru the small space...
She screamed...
It seemed
That made it worst...
Punch here.....
Punch there....
Her face bloody....vision distorted....
He wanted that baby aborted...
She yelling she couldn't afford it....
He stomping on her...
Grabbing her hair by the chunks....
This fucking punk...
Had beat her unconscious...
And with no conscious....
Asked her for some pussy...
That's when he noticed she wasn't breathing.............
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Domestic 2

She became entangled with a dude that was living that wild and fast life...
He bought her things...with promises of making her his wife...
Dude seemed extra possessive...her people didn't really care for him...
The more they complained..more she expressed love for him....
Not too mention he had planted his royal seeds....
So she'd stay home with his kids....while he out in the streets
She at the crib playing mommy dearest....
Her mother said that's not your job...but she aint tryna hear it....
Did everything this man said out of fear it...
Wasn't love
Just planted this thought in her head she wasn't enough...
That she wasn't worth it...
Her fragile self esteem....she absorbed it...
She treated him like the sun..her world revolved around him.....in constant orbit...

She wore sunglasses when there were no rays....
No one would see her for days...
A beautiful girl...who usually did it natural...was caking on the foundation....
Constant fights..
First verbal......then physical....
The most painful parts were mental....
The countless name calling..from bitches to hoes....
Then the swinging of the fists...brought on the bloody nose....
The hatred he showed....
This angry...worthless little man... Napoleon complexed..
Whenever he's vexed...
Or high off his ass...would jump on her and flex
His so called manhood....
Accuse her of sleeping with everyone in the neighborhood...
When in actuality it was him up to no good...
Mother urged her to called the cops..
For fear he wouldn't stop...
Told her momma that it was her fault...
That maybe if she listened more...
Or...
Had his things just the way he liked...
She asked her daughter what are you going back for?
Delicately her mother was tiptoeing because she no longer wanted to be put on ignore...
It pained her so much
To be out of touch
With her lil girl...
For whom she had given the world.......
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Domestic can be so hectic

I can't stand it...
Dammit......
The stares of disbelief and the deafening silence...
Another one taken out by domestic violence....
A limp wrist slides from beneath the sheets..
Her mother calm....but her will is weak...
Doesn't have the strength to speak
It was just the other week
She pulled her only child aside...
Just because you think he can provide..
You with the finer things in life...
That's not how a man is supposed to treat his wife....
Look how he bruises you...
For sex just uses you...
And the excuses you..
Make up for him...
Again and again....
That's not the woman I raised!
Young girl....you kow...
Barely 19
She thinks that means
She's grown...
Just got her own place in which she calls home...
I know her from round the way....
Cool with her peeps...when I pass her..she'd always speak...have something nice to say....
In her I noticed a change....
Wasn't my place to say...but something in her demeanor was strange........


To be continued
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28 Days

Every 365 days.....
For 28 days
We celebrate
Our culture..that's cool...but what's not so great
Mainly during that time we elevate..
Awareness of our beautiful skin....
How the strength and courage just flows from within...
We relegate to times that brothers and sisters together were marching....
I don't know...but I'm starting
To think is this right?
It feels more like a slight!!!
At least in my point of view....
Like myself if you...
Have never seen Alice Walker's The Color Purple...what better time to!
Or even Alex Haley's Roots....
Seems like deja vu....
Like clockwork....even Walgreens
Is running specials on products used primarily by Black folk...
Is that a joke?
I'm not saying this to provoke
Any bashing...
I'm just asking
who's next
In order to embody the future we must breed success...
Education....education.....education....
That's the equation....
Don't get it twisted...
I appreciate the struggles of those who existed
Before me..
See...
Without them I wouldn't have the freedom we
Sometime take for granted....
Neither will I allow myself to be disenchanted
And say I'm proud of where it seems some of us are going...
I'm hoping and showing
That there will no longer be a mystery...
When it comes to Black History
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¤Unplugged¤

The elementary theme...
Behind my poetry....I mean...
I write plainly so you could read between
The lines...
Going parallel with thoughts flowing thru my mind...
Can't recall the last time...
I put pen to pad...
I wish I had
Some genius process
That would suggest
I'm writing on a higher level of understanding...
Oops I meant overstanding...
Can't quite dig it...
Don't really give it
Too much conscious thought
I have fought
With what I choose to write...
A never ending fight...
I have stayed away from the fictional dealings
And decided to open up bout my most personal thoughts and feelings
Seems I have connected
With some..even resurrected
Some tears and suppressed memories..
But that was never meant to be
My choice...
Just wanted to speak out in my voice..
Sometimes I am disturbed
Perturbed
By the way I caress those verbs
Set a tingling in those nerves
Open legs and massage curves...
Seemingly so sexual....
Feel like I should be in a confessional
Cuz those be the things I would do be it that I'm not having the best luck in that department.......
Wish I could just lock it all away in my mental compartment.....
Then I want to write things and show my kids...
So I then write my verses without curses like Will Smith did...
I am shy...
That's why..
I use this digital page
As my stage...
Incorporate some of my rage...
Deliver thoughts feelings tears emotions uncaged....
Even as I write this...I can't gauge
Where this is taking me
This is not folly
Its prolly
True....
That's why there is no complexities
In my delivery
So rudimentary...
But you know what.....I can only be me

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What's going on 2011

'We've got to find a way.....to bring some loving here today!!!'

So far ahead of his time....
Incomparable mind...
He was talking bout Vietnam....
30 years later....look at the shit that's going on!

Mama's still crying...
Cuz their baby's in the streets...at war...still dying...
And the government still trying
WMD's.... We got a plan to leave...more lying...

Politicians...steady pollitickin'
With the constituents
Putting them in line of fire
Drawing the ire..
Of some hate mongrel...
Then have the gall to accuse the media of a blood libel
That damn Sarah Palin
Let's target you....and have some criminal im-Palin



'Mercy mercy me....things aint what they used to be'


Oh no....I see the world's frustration....
At the US..for how we treat smaller nations....
Haiti.....a year later...
Still in ruins...weren't we supposed to make it a whole lot greater...

So many things happening all over the place...
As a people are we no longer concerned with the plight of the human race
I think Marvin would pen a song speaking of the utter disgrace
But he would also tell us we need to get back to how things were...
We can't sit idle and watch bullshit occur...
Honestly I'm sick and tired of writing..
Think its time for me to start fighting
In this community
Seems there's not much unity..
But there's at least 1 that wanna breed positivity



'War is not the answer....for only love can conquer hate'
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Poetry

I RESPECT the poets....lyricists...
The ones who have love for the art...those who take this
To that next level...
That embrace that paper and pen unity
Express it so fluidly...
The ones with that flow in their heart....
The beauty of this art
Is it comes in many different flavors....
Made for the reader to savor.
Some pieces that evoke many different emotions....
Some pieces inject you with that love potion....
Some serve as an outlet
For others to get
Thru a myriad of painful situations
Releasing a series mental elation
Because others have endured...and that weight. Can be lifted cuz you're not alone...
Kinda pisses me off
When these jag-offs
Abuse the beauty of poetry...
Don't portray myself a rapper...
I couldn't tell lies of money stacks....
Money out the anus and how many guns I pack....
I lack
That imagination......
These please listen to my demo type fellas
Lol....don't know which is worse...the writer or those that jock that type fella....
Who am I to expect...
Writers to challenge my intellect?
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