Open

Tears and pain...
Seems its all the same...
I'm not writing sweet instances of something beautiful.....
I'm writing deep twisted truths...
So sick of folks reading these lines..
And time after time
They just like it
Just look at the imagery...
And not my hearts symmetry
What's happening right now in my life is fucking killing me...
I'm trying to maintain....
Looking to God and his guidance to ease the pain
Walking from the train...
The sky opens up and it starts to rain.....
Tears just flow......all I can do to keep sane....
Soaking wet from my head to my socks...
Pain is transforming....I'm past the shock....
Scared I'll return to my ill tempered mannerisms....
Having these headaches with horrible visions...
But damn I can only put so much on myself
Wasn't alone in this....I had help..
But here I am sitting on the outskirts of reality...
Fleeting so quickly is my sanity...
Not claiming innocence by any means...
But everything is not as it seems.....
So one sided in this....
Got my dudes telling me....forget that chick....
Females telling me....that's a bogus chick....
I fell in love with this lady...
Maybe
It wasn't meant to be....
A future with her wasn't for me to see...
Maybe the tug of war
On her heart was more
Than she was willing....
To deal....
How can I convey what I feel?
I was on the railroad tracks....
And right before the train came I stepped back
On the platform....
I jumped out of a moving car at rush hour...
Somebody told me I shouldn't relinquish my power...
Cause if she sees your weakness..best believe she will devour
You whole...
Every ounce of your soul...
Shit I'm stuck between being a tough ass...
And inside wishing my relationship was able to last..
I'm just hoping.......
So damn open....
Conscript1