Pain

My love for you...

More permanent than my tattoos..

Saw you in a different hue

I so believed in you

Us

We

Used to marvel at how connected we seemed

Felt like a beautiful dream

Thought of us as such a unique team

Wanted to strive for better

Be a better man

Do everything in my power that I can 

To make you proud of me

Shape how you see me

Envisioned a day that you would marry me

Saw it

Touched it

Wanted it

Somehow our signals got crossed

Between life and my inability to make you happy... you lost

Or I lost 

The Magic

Tragic

You said you wanted nothing from me

Shattered me whole

Fractured my soul

Ran out of words to say

I'd think of you everyday 

Same thing you'd say

Only to have my heart crushed all over again

What chagrin!

Head begins to spin

Cried for you

Set aside

My pride for you

Almost 6 months later... my heart still pines for you

My thoughts are all over the place

Wishing how I could be in your space

See your beautiful face

I love you so much 

Purge

I stopped vibing my lines

Cuz I didn’t want to write about you

My thoughts were filled with rhymes about you

Thinking how could you

Be so selfish...

Knowing I’d be so selfless

Knowing I’d be so helpless

Knowing I’d be so relentless

In my weak attempts to prove I was all about you

Yeah it’s true

I’d sacrifice pride for you 

But I wasn’t enough

It was too simple... not complex enough

Didn’t fight with you

Couldn’t even use feelings to connect with you

I was laid back and not so neat

You were stuff shirt... cuff and a crease 

Like you were corporate America

And I was the replica

Of shit you wanted to forget

But yet

You claimed you loved me

Always thought of me

Wanted to remain friends with me

Man I’m so stuck on this trip

Always thinking of how I could have fixed it...

All the while your vibe screams you don’t give a shit

I’ve avoided it for too long....

No more sad songs

Will use my rhymes to write all my wrongs

Get you outta my head...and outta my system