Ode to my Queens

I loved you sight unseen I mean There was no other way it could be Even before I could see Your voice.. the sweetest melody This relationship birthed on sight So nurturing you provided the world with life There is nothing I can explain that could describe your true value The shine.... the hue No shade can challenge the view At some point it seems I have failed you Betrayed you Beat you Raped you Murdered you Devalued you Disregarded you My God... oppressed you Seemingly even hate you Blamed you for every ill of our community We even Try to imprison you With what we expect from you How you should be..what you can say The way In which we receive you Perceive you Forget that you've been on the front lines Even times When we were dead wrong You stood strong Had our back on multiple occasions Endless situations With tear stained faces You were there. Seems at times I let the ills of society Lie to me Blind me To the fact you have always been there To the fact that the revolution seemingly No I refrain... in REALITY Has always been kicked off by you From Harriet Tubman To Rosa who refused to stand To Sandra Bland See sister I don't wanna fight you I wanna unite with you Make things right with you Stand side by side with you Protect you Respect you

Farewell

You've been with me for a while now

Know what makes me tick

Makes me sick

My ambitions... my dreams

Seems 

I clung to you... you encompassed 

EVERYTHING 

Like I would check in with you before I made any move

Looked to you for proof

That I was able

You never let me down...

Always let me know how crazy I would sound 

For believing in ME!

Twisted kinships

Friendships 

Left me alone with thoughts of wanting to end shit

When I would speak to others about you... they'd say man up! Or pray it off

Then others think mental anguish are for the weak and soft

So I never spoke on it..

You had everyone thinking I was so angry

Mixed with the fact I'm kinda quiet and no one bothered to attempt to understand me

Or maybe that was you.. feeding me more false imagery

Well whatever the case 

I'd always feel out of place 

Sometimes you got the better of me and left me with tears streaming down my face

Talked to a professional and all he did was prescribe pills

That would mask how I really feel

The very highs and the bottom out lows

That would put me deeper in the throws

Of suicidal ideations... side effects that may be even more detrimental 

To my previous mental state

Honestly I've had more than anyone should have to take!!

Confronted my issues with you...

So done with you... no separation anxiety

Gotta get away from you in its entirety 

Gotta get my mind right

So I can get in my grind right

Mentally

Physically

But I tell you that beast depression is true..

Deadly persona that can and will grab you with the same cold clutches like any addict

But so much worse because other people rarely see the proof that it 

Truly does exist 

Ramblings

If the money ain't long enough...

The loving will never be strong enough

Don't like these facts... tough

Money may not buy happiness...but it definitely does something 

Keep her from wanting that 1 thing

Elsewhere

She'll say she don't care

But you'll soon find she will equate the amount of funds as respect for you...

Oops I digress, lack of respect for you

Everything becomes a problem

And though you try hard to solve them

Always bubbling on the surface

Cuz after all she can do bad by herself..

Bro.. you weren't irreplaceable.... so she pushes you to the left.....

Independently....

She don't need he...

To be...

Happy

Sexy

She's free...

Gets used to her own space

Mentally

Physically

Can even fuck herself... love faces

Can't truly comprehend when a man comes along and wants to hold her in a tender embrace 

Be that shoulder she doesn't even know she may need 

Coping mechanisms... is it her or is it him?

Where does it end... how did it begin?

Is it that these niggas truly ain't shit?

Is there more to it?

Are these brothers weak?

Claiming she just doesn't want to settle....

But yet brothers gotta settle for passive aggressive control freaks 

Who try to control every single aspect of the relationship so to speak?

Then some aren't even worth their keep...

Surface level not too deep

Just rambling

Eureka eureka!!

Running around like truth seekers

Bitter and betrayed we've become nonbelievers 

Bless me from the rhetoric

So pathetic 

This search for love and I never seem to get it

Dismiss it

Attitude eff it

On to better things

Whatever the future brings

People get their feelings hurt everyday B!!

So it's nothing to me

Well actually

It used to be...

But to be in my feelings over another's inability 

To see 

Maybe

He

Could in reality

Be 

Everything she may need

Instead she's governed by wants

And what she has always been

Admittedly at first there is a bit of chagrin

But then 

I let it go....

Thank her for happenstance

That moment and chance

To indulge in our beautiful romance

Tender embraces

Intense love faces

No bitterness... Bad vibes from me

Smile whenever I think of she

No longer entranced but what we....

Could have been... Just sit back and be free

Reason to Rhyme

I wanna use the word vertigo

In a rhyme... And not like Pharrell.. I won't use cervical

Don't wanna be the best lyricist

Off top just saying shit

Wanna be like Pac... Have you feeling it

Get caught up in the rapture

Anita Baker...allow me to capture

Your intellect... Please no fakers

Keep it so simple... No need to dumb it down

No need to dress it up.. Make it seem so profound

Just gonna keep doing me

Effortlessly 

Maybe when I write... I will connect with 1 or 2 of you

Maybe even a few of you

Share my point of view

Maybe "greater" minds will break down what I do

How my every line

Seems to rhyme 

With every line

Or how I punctuate...

That maybe I don't have what it takes

Then it hit me...

I'm doing this for me

See

This is my therapy

This is my way of dealing with negativity

Kind of a loner.. So this is my peace

My release

Don't smoke to get high

I write to get by

I write to stay alive 

If it weren't for these simple rhymes

Truly think I would have lost my mind

So whether you dig it or not.... That's my reason to rhyme