Freestyle'd Thru Tears

We raise our kids in our image..
Going against Mom and Pops..some consider sacrilege...
Falsely giving the praise
For the way in which I was raised...
The humility that I possess
The ability to do so much with less
Shit I'm so confused
Ticking time bomb that needs to be defused
Called you at 8... Like an eager little child...
Had the troops all riled up to say Happy Fathers Day in style....
No answer...
Didn't make the best father
So I don't know why I'd bother
Thinking you'd be a worthwhile grandfather
Shit hurts
And what's worse
Is I've been cursed
With a mother devoid of emotion
Had a notion
She'd be proud of the man I've become
But your so numb..
When it comes to feelings..
Feel like I'm dealing
With a complete stranger...
Investing my heart in you is paramount to danger
I've taken this to task...
Am I a great father...you don't even have to ask...
All I ever wanted was love...
Love....love....love.....
Its supposed to be repetitive...
All I do is give...give...give....
I love my kids so hard...cuz they are the reason I live.....
How can I not harbor any ill will...
You causing these tears to spill....
This supposed to be my day...
Pain cuts so deep I don't know what to say.......
Just wish I didn't feel this way...
Conscript1