I just wanna be.....
Well.... I've lost a part of me...
No way I can ever be.....complete
Always be asking why
Forever telling lies
Not many can understand where I'm coming from
So numb....
So fucking numb....
I fake happiness... Fraudulently crack jokes
In hopes
People won't ask me how I'm doing
Lie about goals I'm pursuing
Lie about places I'm going
No ones knowing
I'm really at home
And
Just laying in bed
Instead
Of trying to live life
I'm crying for the lady in her last 36 hours.. I made her my wife...
Don't care for judgements
No need to explain what was or wasn't
Can't handle the sharp eyes.... Their looks so accusing
Shit is so confusing
I spent so much energy refusing
To allow my self to love her...when she was the only one to truly love me
Hopefully she's in the heavens above me....
Riddled with guilt.....stricken with grief
I sit here in disbelief
That everything fell in order according to your plan....
Like damn...
The house...the kids..most importantly you gave me stability....
The ability
To raise our kids
In the same environment... In which you did
For that I'm forever indebted
Won't ever forget it......
Won't ever forget it...
