Epiphany

Other night... I had an epiphany 

To put it quite simply 

I just wanna be happy

Genuinely 

I mean seriously 

I’ve felt some kinda way

Often I’d say

I just don’t give a.....

But honestly....

Where does that get me?

Wishing ill will

Meanwhile that person doesn’t care how I feel...

That’s not right.... wouldn’t be keeping it real...

I want all those I have encountered so smile 

For miles and miles

Even thru the good... bad

In between times 

Folks deserve to be happy

As do I...

Get on the good foot

In the past I’d be in my feelings

Take out on others my inner most demons and dealings 

Lost friends and relationships 

Ended up in peculiar situations 

So many frustrations....

What a horrible waste of energy....

So

Other night....... I had an epiphany 

All those I’ve crossed paths with

I want each and every one of you...

Honestly 

Genuinely

Quite simply

To just be HAPPY 

Freestyle inspired by my friend Mel Berry

Let’s play a lil tete a tete

Head to head

Legs spread 

Wide

You shiver as I put my tongue inside

Moan as I glide

Over that clitoris

Finger licking so delicious 

It’s hella intense

Reminisce on positions to come

Endless explosions the many ways we will cum

Bountiful bliss

Electricity flowing with each succulent kiss

How we long for it

Moan for it

Fiend for it

From so delicate 

To you screaming... nigga gimme my dick

So intimate

Intrinsic

Climactic 

Pulsating 

Gyrating

Soul shakin’ 

Last time 

That’s definitely gonna be a mesmerizing 

As that first time... that hasn’t even happened yet

Styled Free

They still killing them

Still filling them

Holes 

Six feet deep

We still following like sheep

We sleep

It seems 

I mean 

We getting so lost in between

Being woke

Tryna provoke 

Others into feeling our pain

Disdain

But hell we doing the same

In Chi town

My town

Your town

It ain’t just them killing us

We only seem to see the unjust 

Pig killings

We spilling 

Out in the streets

Yelling in defeat

For justice 

But it’s just us

Blind to Philando

But quick to speak on Justine Diamond

I’m in 

Shock...

Let me come to my senses

Cuz when it’s senseless

Not to mention 

Repetitive 

They don’t have 2 fucks to give...

Random

I’ve held on to a lot of empty souls... people who have shown me time and time again they could give a damn about my feelings. People who have always stuck to their guns and told me time after time they wouldn’t change and it’s take it or leave it. That was stupid on my part for thinking I could changer their ways.... make them see something different in me. I failed myself... let myself down for the admiration of a few. Neveragain!

Pain

My love for you...

More permanent than my tattoos..

Saw you in a different hue

I so believed in you

Us

We

Used to marvel at how connected we seemed

Felt like a beautiful dream

Thought of us as such a unique team

Wanted to strive for better

Be a better man

Do everything in my power that I can 

To make you proud of me

Shape how you see me

Envisioned a day that you would marry me

Saw it

Touched it

Wanted it

Somehow our signals got crossed

Between life and my inability to make you happy... you lost

Or I lost 

The Magic

Tragic

You said you wanted nothing from me

Shattered me whole

Fractured my soul

Ran out of words to say

I'd think of you everyday 

Same thing you'd say

Only to have my heart crushed all over again

What chagrin!

Head begins to spin

Cried for you

Set aside

My pride for you

Almost 6 months later... my heart still pines for you

My thoughts are all over the place

Wishing how I could be in your space

See your beautiful face

I love you so much 

Purge

I stopped vibing my lines

Cuz I didn’t want to write about you

My thoughts were filled with rhymes about you

Thinking how could you

Be so selfish...

Knowing I’d be so selfless

Knowing I’d be so helpless

Knowing I’d be so relentless

In my weak attempts to prove I was all about you

Yeah it’s true

I’d sacrifice pride for you 

But I wasn’t enough

It was too simple... not complex enough

Didn’t fight with you

Couldn’t even use feelings to connect with you

I was laid back and not so neat

You were stuff shirt... cuff and a crease 

Like you were corporate America

And I was the replica

Of shit you wanted to forget

But yet

You claimed you loved me

Always thought of me

Wanted to remain friends with me

Man I’m so stuck on this trip

Always thinking of how I could have fixed it...

All the while your vibe screams you don’t give a shit

I’ve avoided it for too long....

No more sad songs

Will use my rhymes to write all my wrongs

Get you outta my head...and outta my system 

Ode to my Queens

I loved you sight unseen I mean There was no other way it could be Even before I could see Your voice.. the sweetest melody This relationship birthed on sight So nurturing you provided the world with life There is nothing I can explain that could describe your true value The shine.... the hue No shade can challenge the view At some point it seems I have failed you Betrayed you Beat you Raped you Murdered you Devalued you Disregarded you My God... oppressed you Seemingly even hate you Blamed you for every ill of our community We even Try to imprison you With what we expect from you How you should be..what you can say The way In which we receive you Perceive you Forget that you've been on the front lines Even times When we were dead wrong You stood strong Had our back on multiple occasions Endless situations With tear stained faces You were there. Seems at times I let the ills of society Lie to me Blind me To the fact you have always been there To the fact that the revolution seemingly No I refrain... in REALITY Has always been kicked off by you From Harriet Tubman To Rosa who refused to stand To Sandra Bland See sister I don't wanna fight you I wanna unite with you Make things right with you Stand side by side with you Protect you Respect you