Depression2

Used to always think that once I got this job...or I set a goal and achieved it I would gain some form of happiness. Or if I got the girl.... Or this happened or that happened... I would be happy.. that I would no longer feel this unending darkeness I've always seemed to be submerged in. I stay away from alcohol because I don't seem to know when to stop drinking. Don't really know who to talk to because either they have no idea what to say to me.... Or they just dont care. Learned today no matter what type of notoriety..fame..money...anything... Does not matter unless you feel it...Or can see it for themselves. I just can't see it

Depression

I would say I'm depressed..and people would just tell me to "pray about it". I would say how I feel and people would say I was either weak... Or in my feelings. Maybe I am weak...but suicide and depression.... Depression and suicide.. Have crossed my mind frequently. Depression has crippled me in so many ways. Made me a recluse... Anxiety.. Fears..feeling of not being worth it. Fear of failure... Just not knowing how to cope. It's a fight everyday to stay positive.... Keep myself from falling into darkness.. It's not about Robin Williams... It's about depression and how it's breaking me down. Judge me... Call me whatever name you want....but this shit is so real... You never know what may trigger it.. People say there's so much to be grateful for... That I shouldn't think like this cuz I have kids.. I just need help.