Pray for me.......Please

I cry incessantly
Inner turmoil just messing with me....
A shell of my former self....
My laugh muffled by my cries for help....
So called friends gone...family...there's nothing left...
No more friendships....
Kinships....
Separate from one... And things just end quick.....
Chest beating extra hard.......inhale.......
Tears streaming...............exhale............
I'm losing it......just like I lost my job....
I'm like why God?
I've lost my will my focus...
And everyone around me is starting to notice.....
Barely eat.....
I have no appetite....
Hardly any sleep at night.....
My sugar so outta whack....
In fact....
Been having those chest pains lately....
Hope its not my heart.....
Feel like I'm falling apart....
Being that no one comes around to see me....I keep them at bay....
Tell everyone I'm ok
Just so I don't have to hear them
say
That one day....
One day....
Someday......
I want to yell.....what about today!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never wanted things to be this way.....
I was consistently
Weaving my way thru life's inconsistencies....
Knowing that my love..dedication and hard work would pay off eventually....
I'm left alone......my spirit.....on empty......
.Spiraling out of control....I wish the devil would come get me..
Never been one to indulge... In drugs and alcohol....
But damn it seems so tempting......
Wanna drink till numb.....
Pop pills...snort coke...whatever till I'm dumb
High...
Figure this will be the only way I can
Get by....
This disconnect in my pain....
Ease the pain....
Until then......why don't somebody pray for me?
Conscript1