Lifted

Feel like a spirit has been lifted
Shifted
Off course...reverse
I cursed
Obtuse angle
Triangle
Words caught in my throat...they strangle
Me...my truth you couldn't handle
Leaving marks on my psyche like I've been vandal........ized
Thoughts paralyzed
Like a pair of lies
Like these words I'm spitting
They werent hitting
Cuz the point yall missing
Not getting
Anywhere
I dare
Speak on it
It's been 4 weeks on it
My outlook so bleak on it...
No longer the truth I seek on it....
Devil fighting hard..my lack of faith has allowed him to peak on this
Painted a horrible picture...allowed me to peek on it...
Very displeased with the supposed outcome
And then some
Such a peculiar conundrum
Be strong they say...I wonder.... Where  this strength will come from?

R.I.P. to Life as I knew it

I need a blunt.... Or some 1800
Get so zooted...these problems I'd run from it...
A miracle to why I haven't yet done it..
Possibly a part of me couldnt stomach...
Past few days been living in slow motion
Thinking bout my kids and hoping
If they are ok and how they are coping
Not really knowing
What the future holds
Or how to play the different roles
That I know must wear...
Doesnt matter whether or not its fair
Eyes red from crying
No lying
How selfish am I ....she's dying
Put myself in her shoes
Look at it from her point of view...
She can't be cool with this.. 
That's so obvious...
Some may question my motives..
But know this
This woman gave me two kids...
Was there when so called family turned their back on me....
Inexplicably
It was she...
So if you know me...
And know the man that I am...
You should understand
That I would do anything..in my power that can
Ease the burden on my seeds..
Yes indeed...
Do anything for my seeds...
They say God doesnt give you more than you can bear...
Regardless of whether you deem it fair..
.

Unfunny Valentine

She used to say, babe tell me you love me....
I would scoff why don't you just tell me you love me...
My selfish demeanor didn't see
Exactly
What she was trying to say to me...
The late nights
To the constant fights
Thinking no matter how wrong I was.. in my arguments I was always right..
Sometimes I spoke to with words so icy..
Never touched her but my words so loaded
Didn't take a genius to decode it...
That I was so unhappy
Perhaps see...
It was from the constant lies...
Not answering hey constant what's and whys
Me peaking her insecurities
Headstrong on the fact I knew she'd never leave me...
She needed me...
I was/am the perfect daddy
And she wouldnt wreck it....sadly
She asked for a divorce.
Of course
I blamed it on she... It is all her fault
That was my school of thought...
So for awhile now..
I've hidden exactly how
I feel...
Stuck in something so loveless
For me to even suggest
I'm happy in this relationship
Would be nothing short of ridiculous bullshit..
Stumbling steadily till I get on my own too
I attest if you
Don't want to end up in my predicament
Take the time to indulge your girl in some heartfelt sentiments..
Meant to bring you two closer...
My unfunny Valentine
This story is all mine....

Shower Scene

Shower Scene

Sexy
Steamy
You and me...
Water dripping down your back..
Touching....kissing.... Hands on your hips
You quietly moan...more kisses..
Heavy breathing...
Heart beating...
Fingertips
Lips....
Carressing clit..
Up against the wall....
Wanting it all....
Turn and face me.....
Taste me....
Tongue tricks....
Oooh.....shit....
Loving the tongue flicks....
Yeah that's it....
Water must be am aphrodisiac...
Putting that arch in your back...
Talking bout you want it.... Need it....
Wanting me to eat it....
Then beat it....
I know you want it on repeat...
Shower Scene.....
Bedroom.. I mean
Everywhere in between....

Kiss Me

Kiss Me

See I got this fetish...
Can't let it..
Get...
Out of control
If I do...its gonna take hold...
I wanna have a taste...
Let them juices flow from your secret place
Use my tongue to trace
Every inch of your passion
From the bottom up...
Watch it spill over and erupt....
See I've got this fetish....
It envelopes my soul 
Truth be told....
You're the best I've never had...
And I want you that damn bad...
Patiently waiting intensifies this foreplay.
I'll say...
I want you from the inside out....
Outside in....
Only then
The connection
Will be deeper than mere penetration...
More than sweat dripping...
I will be sipping
From your overflowing fountain...
See I've got this fetish
I want not just a piece..but the whole
Package....mind body and soul...

Deadbeat

Deadbeat

I curse your mother's hole
Spit on your daddy's soul
Blackheart... Turned so cold
No playing games homie...you're too old
Truth be told
You prolly was that snot nosed kid sadly
Waiting for your daddy
He never showed up..and it hurt you down deep....badly
So you became that pathetic excuse of a man
So what the baby wasn't part of your plan
That don't mean you can't stand up and,be a man
I mean damn
She found a new love interest
For your lame ass to suggest
The new guy invest
In your seeds future...makes no sense
You can't even gift your seed your presence
Oh let's not talk bout missed birthdays and Christmas with no presents....
I should not be of any concern...
When will these bum niggas learn
That karma is a bogus bitch
In which
Will make your life a living hell...
Yeah now It's oh well...
Only time will tell....
Fucking deadbeat...
Lmao....coochie coo ass nigga..
How the hell you figure
You a real man?
Fucking deadbeat

Pray

Speechless
The unpredictability of life....renders me speechless
Cuz I can't believe this...
Don't believe it....so I'm not even gonna speak this
Tears welling up in my eyes...not a sign of weakness...
Won't allow myself to wallow in bleakness
But I will relish in the happenstance
The 4...5....6 chance after chance
Our friendship blossoming
Into bigger and better things...
When mentally I wasn't there
You appeared out of thin air...
All I could do to repay you.....was be the best father I didn't even know how to be...
For whatever you saw in me...
Made me believe
I could achieve
Whatever and however our kids would perceive me...
Thank you for all that you have done...and continue to do....
What could separate our bond?
Metastic cancer
Damn sure ain't the answer...
Wont lie and say I have no fears....
Or try to hold back tears..
But I am saying prayers.. I know God definitely hears....