Another Chance

There'd be the quick little footsteps...
Jumping in the bed....
Feet in my face instead....
My mini me shaking his dreads....
Upon eye contact the other most beautiful lil girl in the world...says good morning daddy....
Gladly I'd make my famous pancakes...
A box of Jiffy is all it takes
To have them jumping to the ceiling..
Man what a wonderful feeling....
I'm looking at the most gorgeous woman in the world...
In my head I'm thinking...Damn that's my girl....
Secretly I've always loved her voice...
Smooth and sweet...tickles me in a place so sweet...
Got a spark every time our lips would meet...
There's something so special...so different this family's vibe....
At any time....
Someone would say something that would evoke laughter...
Fast forward to now...I've caused my world to shatter...
I used to see them everyday...
In every way
What I wouldn't give just to hear them say...
Hi Daddy...
Or hear Nene ask Daddy how was your day?
Tre asking the same question over and over again...
And when I'd say no....he'd ask again....
Making those baked lemon pepper bbq wings...
Dinner for the family...those little things..
I used to take for granted....
Dammit!
This can't be right...
Not my life...
I did this to myself...
I'm praying to the Lord for help.....
I used to pride myself.....
In being a family man...
Had the family.... But I wasn't the best man...
That I know I can....
Be...
That's it honestly...
I am asking God for a second chance...
I'd do anything for my family.....
I just want them back....
That's a fact!
Conscript1

Fractured

Wish death upon you viciously....
Shit catch wind of our history...
Don't give a damn how you depict we...
Of course
You on your high horse...
No fucking remorse...
They say hindsight is 20/20....
Regret shit...I have them good and plenty...
Dem no cry for me...
I reinvented it
Remixed it
This anguish....
Some say how foolish...
Will I ever relinquish
This animosity.....
Fueled by a fiery hostility...
Towards fuckers that are so called family...
Like a bad hairline...seems I've recessed...
Regressed...
To being a lil kid just vexed
At my situation.....
Using my imagination
To fly...
Damn the reefer...I'm talking so high.....
I would be this person.....
That one.....
And then some....
Never lost in this maze...
Is this rage....
Even now in life I can't seem to turn the page...
And let go......
Off the top of my dome....
Sitting in a crowded Starbucks....yet I'm so alone....
A king with no throne...
Damn I wish I wasn't from such a shattered home.....
Conscript1

Spoken Word

Reverb
Unleash the beat real slow....haven't you heard
Scintillating words
Caress every nerve.....
Phonetic wizardry......
Like when the message is delivered...
Your soul shivers
Bless the givers
Of this awesome gift...
Tongue twist...
Thoughts shift..
Reality painted in various hues...
All expressing different views
Intellects on that intellectual
Rhymes splaying legs so sensual
Unloading raw emotions to make it even more special
Reaching that next level.....
Thoughts from the conscious minded
I find it
All forms of the spoken word..
Gives me that ultimate urge...
To try my hand at this awesome feat...
Not caring how I'm riding the beat.....
Just know that I'm gonna deliver that verbal heat.....
Conscript1

Beauty Personified

She's sexy...
Beyond sex appeal...
Her vibe is so real...
Love to be around her...its that electricity you feel...
Reels you in...
Imagining
Sweet kisses on lips..
Hands on hips...
Tender embrace...
As I look at her pretty face...
Whether she rocking something covered in lace...
Or sweats..whatever the case..
She beautiful in each and every way..
would remind her every day..
Baby, you making me blush..
Girl hush...
Everyday day is Valentine's
Pretty smile...eyes just shine...
We making love mentally
I'm so into her..she into me..
Willingly...
Ain't nothing forced
Of course...
So natural...
So beautiful....
Its all true....
And yes I'm talking bout u

Conscript1

Freestyle'd Thru Tears

We raise our kids in our image..
Going against Mom and Pops..some consider sacrilege...
Falsely giving the praise
For the way in which I was raised...
The humility that I possess
The ability to do so much with less
Shit I'm so confused
Ticking time bomb that needs to be defused
Called you at 8... Like an eager little child...
Had the troops all riled up to say Happy Fathers Day in style....
No answer...
Didn't make the best father
So I don't know why I'd bother
Thinking you'd be a worthwhile grandfather
Shit hurts
And what's worse
Is I've been cursed
With a mother devoid of emotion
Had a notion
She'd be proud of the man I've become
But your so numb..
When it comes to feelings..
Feel like I'm dealing
With a complete stranger...
Investing my heart in you is paramount to danger
I've taken this to task...
Am I a great father...you don't even have to ask...
All I ever wanted was love...
Love....love....love.....
Its supposed to be repetitive...
All I do is give...give...give....
I love my kids so hard...cuz they are the reason I live.....
How can I not harbor any ill will...
You causing these tears to spill....
This supposed to be my day...
Pain cuts so deep I don't know what to say.......
Just wish I didn't feel this way...
Conscript1

1-4-3

Want this feeling to last forever..
Till the twelfth of never..
Passionate kissing...
When you're not near me I'm missing
You...
Not afraid to admit how I love you..
Gentle enough to caress her heart
Yet strong enough to play my part...
Open doors that's locked..so chivalrous
Believe me it does exist..
I'm gonna love you in a manner you can't resist..
I insist
Take our time
Slow wind...
Show you that you're beyond special
Intrigue your mental..
By giving you conversation that level past intellectual
Have you saying...he's so refreshing..guess men aren't all the same..
Not with the usual player..tryna spit some recycled game...
Can look past my pain...
No need for fallacy
Won't hype you with improbable fantasy..
What I will give is the best of me..
Far from perfect see..
There's no telling what we could be...
Ain't gonna get anywhere with your heart in a cage...you gotta set it free...
1-4-3
L-O-V-E
So much provided by me
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Worth PT1

Call yourself a stand-up nigga..
How the hell you figure?
You sit down to aim...
How lame?
This dude gotta history
Of acting so insecurely
Swinging on females...
Man I'll spare you the details..
Haters gonna say I'm man bashing....
Shit ill answer questions to anyone who is asking....
Masking
Pain...she prolly is searching for daddy...
Someone who will love her...
Put none above her..
Had those situations...let's call him 'Uncle' Chester...
Would have their way and molest her...
Damaged goods...
Feels why would
Any regular dude
Be in the mood...
To deal with someone with her past...
How long will these thoughts last?
Often times
These characters cross lines...
Intermingle
This girl is no longer single...
He can't deal with her issues
So his words become tinged with verbal abuse
Another miscue
Her will has become weak
She no longer seeks..
Love...she just goes thru the motions..
Hoping..
This is enough...
Settling for a guy who just talks tough...
Round the edges are so rough...
He cheats...but takes care of home...
Accepts it because she can't handle to be alone.....
Doesn't stand up for herself....
Inside she's just dying for help...
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®