6 Months

Diagnosed with 6 months to live
Can't guarantee a solitary fuck I'd give
Meet y'all at the crossroads
Truth be told
Folks would despise me if I had control of how events would unfold
First the denial
I'd feel like I was proven guilty without a fair trial
Probably have a scowl on my face all the while
I'd be flipping birds
Both middle fingers on high... Screaming fuck the world
Will have some of y'all saying get in the good book..
I'd say look
Church ain't for me
See
We've covered up for years grown men touching young boys
Using them as sexual toys
God allows that??? Please save that noise
No one could tell me shit
Just ain't having it
Less than 180 days
So truthfully I can think of a million different ways
Than to spend it listening to this false sympathy
Ticking time bomb. Damn right I am angry
Shit wouldn't you be
I'm given a time frame of when my life ends
While others sit back and focus as their life begins
The anger subsides
Now a deep sense of sorrow resides
In my tear filled eyes
Diagnosed with 6 months to live
Anything to trade in this life I'd give...

To be continued

Informed

We so dumb
Celebrating this country's so called freedom
What exactly are we free from?
This goes deeper than Obama so no need for politicin'
Watermelon and fried chicken
After a while this crap becomes so taxin
Common sense all of a sudden we are lacking
Months on end this fool refusing to show his federal taxes
But he makes jokes or rather attacks
Obama's place of birth... Again...
Chagrin..
Don't get it twisted though... Not bashing
Just asking
If it weren't election year would he have approved same sex marriages
Nope not a mute point
Not trying to spark a riot on this joint
But don't be confused by his attempts to fool the masses
With an attempt to garner votes.. In my opinion is kinda classless
Did he forget there are gay republicans as well
Oh well
In fact
It seems being gay is the new black
So it's nothing but a new tactic
That he did in 2008
Please don't hate..
I'm just talking bout values
Isn't that what we base our decision on whom we chose
To vote for..
Someone will come around with "vast intellect"
And claim that I am showing Obama such blatant disrespect
That I'm supporting the Mittens
Calm down.. That would be fishing
It's really not my mission
I'm just wishing
We would look beyond the bs glare
Of the spotlight and focus on things that are important such as healthcare....
Education
A powerful asset that will empower our nation
Let's not be blinded
Or narrow minded
If you don't make an informed decision.. You'll find it
Seeming like that Bush it
We dealt with for 8 years

Heated

They say money make them cum..... Around
I remember when some of y'all were nowhere to be found..
No y'all twisting your lips.. Running round
With the fake I'm so happy for you.. Blah blah blah two thumbs way down
Don't give a shit how bitter I sound
It's the truth I grin and bear it now..
Middle finger to you bastards.. My disgust how y'all wear it now
On top of the world I sit..
Messed up though... Cuz I'm still lonely as shit..
Won't blame it on you bums... It's my situation to fix
I rather have these lonely days
Then spend it in the phoniest of ways
In my head these thoughts so twisted
But I also see it so vivid
I gotta do for self...
I stick my hand out.. But get no help..
Don't be alarmed I despise all of you equally
None of you are unique to me
Just the way I've got to be
To keep my sanity
If words could kill... I'd hang all of you simultaneously
I gave all of me... In reality
It wasn't money
So to some I gave nothing..
I gave my time... But to my ex she only wanted one thing
I'm gonna send her good will hunting
Let me stop before I say too much
And folk start saying I'm crazy and such
Don't let this anger get ahold of me...
Konscript aka Bruce Banner folks won't like it when I'm angry

Lol

Break Up

I love you... How those words ring so hollow...
I cringe at your actions that are soon to follow
Even a tougher pill to swallow
In a maze of self pity I seem to wallow
As if this is the best I can get
As if I deserve this shit
Twisted in this bullshit element
My constant lessons
I've poured out my soul.. My confessions
This empty progression
Has me to a point where I'm second guessing
Me... Got me feeling like I'm an ain't shit nigga
Cuz I can't seem to figure
How this got so bad..
So instead of getting mad
I'm turning to the bottle like I've never had
Loud smoking
Downing bottles of Heineken
Hitting bottles of tequila
Till I no longer feel ya
Condescending grip on my reality..
What a tragedy...
Instead of shining my light on you...
You've swallowed me in your darkness and brought me into your purgatory times 2...
I think you believe I need you...
Oh damn how untrue..
This might be above your level of understanding
But I don't see how you get off demanding
Something aren't willing to be
I thought of giving you all of me
But you can't handle this portion see...
So it's best if we no longer be

Aspire to Be

Aspire to be
See
I can never be
Content with half ass efforts
Because in the long run it's not just me that hurts
I'm trying to magnify my worth
I'm not talking pocket change
But I am talking change
Rearrange
Past perceptions
Without any exceptions
Do away with the regular nigga syndrome
Which is something I can't condone
Things like this you have to do on your own
I can't make you...
As much as I want to
The burden of proof
Lies within you... Can't just blame it on your youth
It's of no use
It's no excuse
You gotta do for self
Along the way there will be those that may offer help
Still only you can succeed
As long as you believe
You will achieve
Your wildest dreams
No matter how impossible it may seem
Just aspire to Be......

Thank you

I resisted God's invitation

On numerous occasions

Found myself in many dark situations

I wouldn't go to church..read the bible or anything...my excuse was.."God knows my heart"

But I was so reluctant to play my part

I didn't want to do it

Didn't want to pursue it

Even in my youth

I found ways to twist the truth

I lied

Cheated

Did things for selfish reasons..

Didn't put God first

So in everything I did..it would go from bad to worse

Full of pride.. my anger would curse

God..spiraled into a bout of self pity even depression

Because I refused to learn my lesson

I contemplated suicide

Driven by anger..hate and pride

My thoughts were focused only on me

Not my kids..my family...just me

Then God hit me with reality

By my own destructive ways I was homeless

Jobless

Pennyless...

Without relying on God I wouldn't survive

I thought it was something

Without God I'm nothing

I'm not ashamed

To proclaim

My faith

To let it be known

That God has shown

Me so much mercy

And I can't say nothing but Thank you

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Freestyle'd

When he hits me...

That's just his way of saying he loves me...

Sometimes I want him to hit me...I know its wrong...

But that ish be turning me on..

Then he beat it all night long..

To our favorite song

I don't be meaning to put my hands on the chick..

But sometimes I don't wanna hear all that lip..

Like Jigga say..I was just fucking them girls.. I was gonna get right back...

And my chick know that..

He says I'm nothing without him...

Built on lies..but I'm starting to believe them

Scared to be alone...so I choose to ignore friends

They tell me that he ain't no good..

And instead of this thing with him....I let long time relationships come to an end

I am a strong Christian...

Something ain't right with how I'm witnessing

Got Tom..Leroy..and Jamal steady coming in and out..

While my doors stare revolvin'

But here I stand judgin...

Him and him..her and her just cuz how they livin'

See my sins..just regular sin...

But what they doin'

Is a damn abomination...

And for that..I'm not voting for the President of our nation

It aint them thats killing us...

Its us that's killing us...

In the instances where they shoot us

We cause such a hectic fuss

We join in false harmony...

Turn a deaf ear

To problems that are near

And should be dear

To their heart

But that's not where they start

Some of us are drunk off society

I'm waiting for that moment of sobriety

Where we come to our senses.

And take steps to end this.

Endless

Senseless

Series of ill fated antics

that I can't even stomach...just makes me sick

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