Saga 2

Momma couldn't be patient..
In me she saw him..
Something she hated...
A child having a child
Couldn't be more evident
Supposed to be her gift ya know
Heaven sent...
Instead my presence
She treated as a life sentence..
She switched my tears for fears
The nigga would strike her
When he came near..
Clutching me close..
Blood flowing from her nose.
She shaking like a baby..
It was a nightmare
She shaking the baby..
somebody save me...
Crazy
She aint ask for this...
Wishing she could slit her wrists..
Bride by suicide..
his touch makes her wanna hide..
Drunk in between her legs he tries
To climb..
Not this time..
Before he puts it in
She strikes him...
runs..runs...runs..
I hate you..
I hate ur being...
I hate everything..
Nigga fuck you...

Saga 1

Product of a chester
type situation
24 year old molester
16 year old mother..
Threatened by a vicious grandmother
Stating if u don't marry my daughter
I'm gonna make ur life a living hell
Don't dwell
On it too long
Before u in jail singing that sad song
Horrible choice predicated this
occurrence..damn its wrong...
Domestic violence
Granny's deafening silence
This niggas arrogance
Momma lost patience..
Makes no sense..
Cuz of Granny's perceived embarrassment
This is how the story went..
Question after question
Still don't know the lesson
Stressing..
Cause of my depression
Why was I dealt this funny hand?
Why couldn't he be the bigger man?

Beautiful Independence

The beauty of an independent woman is that she don't need you
She wants you
In my opinion a comforting point of view
at times this point goes askew
Some women wear it like a badge talkin bout Hi my name is Monica I don't need you for shit nigga Walker...what's ur name?
How lame...
Its like applications that offer at will employment
He the at will boyfriend
Can be terminated for any cost
she calling shots like the Boss..
Now he subject to a layoff
Cuz that tough chick stuff ain't payoff
Now he acting blue..
Don't worry she sad too..
We never talk bout the doodoo that some women do..
sometimes be so petty
see I understand
U may have been done wrong by that other man
Don't hold this guy accountable
Gotta hate them odds..damn near insurmountable..
set in his ways u can't change a nigga
Go figure..
Don't make ur goal
To pacify to mold
Not in ur control
U tryna be with a man..
Not raising one.
Can't be fun...
Can't speak for everyone..
But I like to unwrap
My gifts..not have it butt naked in my lap..
Not right away anyway
Along with a phat ass...
I dig class..grace..
Good taste..
she more than a pretty face
Gotta be my homie..my ace
Everything will fall in place..
Aint no games..just understand the pace..
we out there..
U will kiss ur fair share
Of frogs dogs whatever have u
But ur king is out there waiting on u
Until then handle ur B.I.

Incoming Call

Like 2 ships in the night...
We slide past each other this aint right..
U coming..I'm going in..
That 12 to 10
In a cycle we spin
U that 11 to 7
Caught in the tailwind..
On the mission for that getty green
By any and all means..
But I'm missing u...
U missing me too..
Steal a few
Seconds to minutes
To hear it...
Ur voice...
Telling u need me..
U want me to touch ur body..
Make it sing..
Do them freaky things..
More importantly
She wants to connect with me..
Exclusively
Just we...
My Queen..
I'm her King..
Can't wait to hold u...
Melt in each others..
Presence..
A little incense...
some soothing tunes..
Set a beautiful mood..
In tune with u...
Gotta love that
Lovers groove

U Don't Own me

You don't it like u used to do it
Back in the day,how u used to pursue it this relationship
You offered genuine friendship
My rock of Gibalter
if ever I falter
contemplating a future trip to the altar
That was only the beginning
It was all so simple then
Didn't see it coming...when
You started to act up
Made me wanna back up
you slowly started to change
behaving a lil strange
In my phone asking bout numbers and names..
Your presence to me
Was so ugly
Couldn't even vibe ya see
U were carrying round that jealousy
Showing unnecessary signs of envy
Don't blame me for ur insecurity
Cuz securely
Comforted ur heart..and treated u how ur supposed to be..
This has caused a shake up
Eventually will lead to our break-up
At this point I don't think u could make up
Got me looking over my shoulda
The truth I've told ya
Going in and out
Ur ear..that's not what I'm about..
This bringing my mood down south

Writing

Writing

To some it may be weird
But I write how my heart is steered.
Feel it deep within..sometimes I write thru tears..
Detail my fears..
I write so everyone can READ with their eyes
Sympathize when I talk bout pain..
Fantasize with me..cuz my thoughts be kinky
Recognize
Thru my lines..
Will be truth
I dig deep till I hit the roots
Of ur brain
My aim to maintain
A certain level
Til we conscience again..
I spit it how I live it...
Bring it..
Authentic
Never generic..
Will breach any topic...
A wealth of knowledge...
Knowledge of self...
ATM no withdraw
Mentally in awe...
No ceilings like Wayne..
No way..I aint playing...
Make haste..
A mind is a terrible thing to waste...
Got the potential to be great..
Open ur mind while I plead my case....

Lost Innocence

Friend of mine pulled me aside..
In my arms she cried...
She said growing up..sometimes I wish I died...
What do u mean?
She would paint a horrible scene...
1989
Simple times..the usual hustle and bustle..
Kinda struggling barely getting by..
Mama landed a good job..only problem its at night...
Her friend gonna watch me..his name uncle Ike...
Dude was real cool..
Like he had no rules..
But something happened..he started acting strange..
Swore I caught him staring at me when
I would change..
My clothes...
From then on I'd sleep with the door closed...
He would make me drinks..
Spiked with alcohol I think..
Made me drowsy...put me to sleep..
I wake up with my panties at my feet and his hand between my legs..
Started to scream..he covered my mouth instead..
In a voice that fills my soul with dread..
He whispered..u don't want ur momma losing her job do u?
Her job pays for the new clothes...the new shoes..
Plus u show me more attention then she do..
Staying up late..throwing back a few..
Let Uncle Ike take care of u...
Promise not to hurt u..
He then kissed me with his alcohol tainted dank breath..
Then felt this sharp pain from down below...
Couldn't scream..couldn't run..
No place to go..
Silent tears fall..somewhere between his heavy breathing and the tears...
To sleep I fall...
This would continue for months on end..
Again again..night after night..
Come and go as he might...
Felt like I did something wrong..
Like I told him come on..
We not struggling no more..
Momma doing big things
At work..she happy.
All the while I'm terrified at the darkness Ike brings...
He would tell me how he liked "making love" to me...
I was better than she..
That's what he said as he was destroying my innocence...
How he loved me..
Said. U may only be eleven..
But when I'm with u..I feel like I'm in heaven....
He must have lost track of time..
in comes Mama..
She looks...
Not my baby...
I'm sorry..
Ike was arrested...
Turns out this wasn't his first...
3 more girls came to make matters worse...
Got sentenced to 3-6 years on each count...
12 counts...at least 36 years in jail..
Up for parole next year though..
Big fucking fail...
My friend say 20 years in jail
Don't give me back my innocence..
Ever since...
I can't trust..can't love..I live a life clouded with misery and emotional strife...
He abused me for 823 days.....that's 19752 hours
I had to cower under this man...
No one understands
The nightmare of this man...
Will forever haunt me.....
She wanted me to tell her story..
Fought back tears of my own..
She lived next door...
this could happen to anyone..
Any of our kids can be subject to this..
I pray we can protect them..