Depression2

Used to always think that once I got this job...or I set a goal and achieved it I would gain some form of happiness. Or if I got the girl.... Or this happened or that happened... I would be happy.. that I would no longer feel this unending darkeness I've always seemed to be submerged in. I stay away from alcohol because I don't seem to know when to stop drinking. Don't really know who to talk to because either they have no idea what to say to me.... Or they just dont care. Learned today no matter what type of notoriety..fame..money...anything... Does not matter unless you feel it...Or can see it for themselves. I just can't see it

Depression

I would say I'm depressed..and people would just tell me to "pray about it". I would say how I feel and people would say I was either weak... Or in my feelings. Maybe I am weak...but suicide and depression.... Depression and suicide.. Have crossed my mind frequently. Depression has crippled me in so many ways. Made me a recluse... Anxiety.. Fears..feeling of not being worth it. Fear of failure... Just not knowing how to cope. It's a fight everyday to stay positive.... Keep myself from falling into darkness.. It's not about Robin Williams... It's about depression and how it's breaking me down. Judge me... Call me whatever name you want....but this shit is so real... You never know what may trigger it.. People say there's so much to be grateful for... That I shouldn't think like this cuz I have kids.. I just need help. 

Ode to Dr Maya Angelou

Think I discovered you in the third grade...
Captivated my mental as I read your powerful words on the page...
Until then I couldn't remember being in such awe...
Weaving through similes and metaphors.
Really could not grasp the enormity of what I just read.. but I wanted more
You painted such magnificent portraits with your words...
Made my imagination soar...
When I discovered you... I discovered Poetry..
I discovered an outlet to quiet the rumbling going on in my head... I found a way to get people to notice me...
That's just my story...
I recollect to a day and time...
When my beautiful black sisters were full of pride...
Headstrong and empowered reciting Still I Rise...
Women would regale themselves in the confidence of Phenomenal Woman....
The list would go on and on....
Then in 93 I heard your voice....
At President Clinton's inauguration...
Reciting On the Pulse of the Morning in front of the nation...many nations
So others could see your dedication
To inspiring minds..
It's of no suprise..
The many people you have inspired
To put pen to pad...
Write stories whether happy or sad...
You've touched many lives..
Especially mine.
That day I discovered you... I discovered POETRY
I thank you for so eloquently
putting your words on display
Touching hearts...minds..having people marvel at your genius..not just today
But everyday.
Rest in Heaven you Phenomenonal Woman

Previous Cats

Ampersand

I wanna be flowers and
Sweet chocolate and
Fine dinner with wine and
Melodic melodies meant to ease and
Symphonies..and
Trips to Tiffany's and
Wanna fulfill all your fantasies and
be the man you need and
Make you believe and
Restore faith in love and
Have you treat it as a gift from above and
Judge me for my heart and
Be true and open from the start and...
Don't look at my pockets
Trust I got it locked and
Imma put in the work and
Best believe. I know this womans' worth and
Don't need materialistic empty wishing and
The love she been missing and
If she keep kissing ....and
Imma start touching and...
Imma let you fill in the blanks and..
For her love imma give thanks and...
She's my blessing..
No second guessing

Anti Chi-Raq

Can't stand how they make these excuses...
It's pointless...useless
Like a peach tree that bears no fruit... Fruitless
The truth is
Somewhere along the line
This gunslinger mentality came along and we thought it was fine
Maybe even some thought it was cool
Perhaps I'm the fool
That can't connect the line between poverty and the rampant rise
Of Chicago homicide..
Blame it on the system they say...
A shame people only see it that way
Instead of stating obvious truths
We seem comfortable overlooking the climate of today's youth
Seems we are the gun toting
Self loathing
Shells of our former selves
Seemingly no one can help...
Stupid...idiotic...foolish.. to refer to your city as Chi-raq
What good can come from that?
That we embrace such crap?
No snitching huh?
Guess I'll just be wishing
We as human beings would just stand up
Collectively man up
And stop this violence
Stand tall in unity..not just sit in shocked silence
And then the page.
Where is the outrage?
No seriously...where is the outrage?

Ring the alarm!!!!

Ring the alarm!!!!
Ring the alarm!!!!
Oh the racism...
We should riot cuz he does not want black folks at his game.
What a shame!!!!
Chest puffed out...
Spewing more hate out their mouth..
Far removed from what I'm talking bout..
Yet mouths closed
I suppose
People can't handle the truth..
Like I said before..the only time there's unity
Is when an outsider disrespects our community
But between you and me
We degrade each other on the daily..
Give each other no respect
Yet expect
Others to show up some decency?
Gotta be kidding me....
Filled with misplaced Black pride
Yet we ignore the rising rate of Black on Black homicide..
Where's the outrage?
No seriously... Where's the outrage?